Hey, It’s My Anniversary–Again!

Hi all! Hope Monday (and the rest of this week) finds you all well. I’ve been dealing with a sinus infection all weekend and haven’t had energy to do much. At least Saturday ran an NCIS marathon; Sunday brought the Barcelona ATP Masters Championship featuring Rafa Nadal in the final. That worked-and the maestro of the clay courts won, too. Yay! (Thought I was linking to a single photo. What the heck–enjoy!)

Back to today: married eighteen years to my hunny and beginning to get the whole ‘depth’ thing that goes along with a long-term relationship. He and I are known for our differences, but we work hard at being respectful of what makes each of us who we are on the day to day. I promise too, that opposites really did attract on every single level, even down to us viewing my laptop screen: him with reading glasses, me with distance glasses, lol. Yet, one day at a time, one situation at a time, we’ve made it to Wedding Anniversary #18 (and even like each other today).

What keeps us strong? Speaking only for myself, choice.  As I’ve written in previous anniversary posts, choosing to be committed on those rare days I not want to be. Truth is, no matter how wonderful a relationship, it takes work. True, some might take less work than others, and there are those who find themselves in a situation in which only one person is doing most of it.

That’s par for the course. Ideas about a 50-50 share of the work is common, but most folks may not consider that 50-50 is an average number. And those of you who are mathematically inclined understand that an average is gained by adding varied sums and dividing by the total number of sums used.

What does that translate to? Simple, math-wise anyway. Sometimes I do more of the work. Sometimes hubby does.

Honestly, I may be more blessed than some. Hubby and I rarely fight, as in it gets nasty and/or ugly between us. (Maybe five or six times in eighteen years? Not bad, right?) Despite our disagreements and fundamental differences as people, we try to talk things out and approach each other as friends. I’ve also come to know that I need to explain my point of view the next day, or when we’re not in that angry moment, when one or both of us might not be thinking clearly. (That’s just plain-old impulse control, friends: an imperative life skill to practice no matter what the situation or setting, i.e., work, home, etc.)

Neither of us likes being at odds. Fortunately, those ugly times usually last little more than a week, and even when the stretch has been (much) longer, we’re still respectful when dealing with the matters a household and family bring. No directing the kids with, “Tell your father…” or “You can let your mother know…” Fights (between almost anyone, I think) are often about control issue(s) anyway. Being aware of that makes a huge difference—period.

I could probably go on and on but I most certainly will not! I will, however, point you to a pair of previous posts on commitment. (Find those here and here.) Please, also take a moment and visit April Cassidy’s Peaceful Wife’s Blog. She covers a range of related topics and shares much wisdom.

This was taken at my bridal shower. Geez, my favorite Frannie Drescher (as Fran Fine) got nothing on this big hairdo!

And before I forget, happy anniversary to my hunny! My humble gratitude and love to the guy who has shown his own side of love and commitment to this looney lady all these years! I am blessed.

Until next time,

Joanna

Did The Kids Figure This One Out on Their Own?

Or do they just “get” something the rest of us don’t?

Happy Thursday after Easter, friends!

I apologize for not getting this up last week. Impending Spring Break messes with timelines for school-related paperwork, which has to take priority. (I always wonder though: God-forbid something serious happened to the person doing the write-up a few days prior–i.e., an injury–doesn’t the paperwork NOT get in on time? Does life stop because of that? Just sayin’… )

Anyway, these thoughts were inspired by a conversation between me and my older guy a few weeks ago.

Most Friday mornings I drop my sixteen year-old son off at school. Our other regular passenger is his ‘girlfriend.’ I keep asking myself why I still put quotes around that word; they haven’t broken up once, and she’s been around three years (plus).

Yep. 1/26/10: that used to be part of my older guy’s text signature. This year, that date fell on a Saturday. It wasn’t until AFTER I picked them up at The Olive Garden that I realized why they’d made dinner plans and just assumed someone would drop them off and pick them up. (Yeah, the mommy in me got a little cranky with them doing that, but I’d missed the bigger picture up front. I got over it soon enough. And I got on my kid’s case about getting her flowers. Won’t tell you he’s lazy, but he can be a bit lackadaisical when it comes to doing things.)

Back to Friday mornings. He was doing his hair for school—I swear he’s the daughter I never had when it comes to his appearance—and I happened to ask about a woman who is best friends with the girlfriend’s mother. (Names are made up.)

“How’s Melanie?”

“She’s good.”

“Did she and Henry get back together?”

“Yeah. They’re back and forth all the time. They fight over stupid stuff. They’re like teenagers.”

“Have you and Fiona ever have a fight?”

“Not really. Her mom and Melanie are envious of us. They want to know what our secret is.”

I laughed. “I’ll tell you the secret: control. You and Fiona don’t try to do that to each other. You let each other be.”

“Yeah. I guess.”

Funny. I’ve got a pair of teen sweethearts who inherently get that. (Hubby and I do okay in that department, but every now and again it creeps up. Then we deal and hopefully have learned something new about each other, eighteen years down the married line.)

I’ve watched these kids in action over the past three years. Like her mom who grew up the youngest of five and the only girl, Fiona’s friends are mostly boys, the same ones who are my son’s core group. (Doesn’t seem to phase him none, to his credit.) Her appearance matters but she’s no diva, which is nice.

She and my son spend a ton of time together, but neither cares if one does something without the other. And—thank God!—there’s NONE of the ridiculous, “You can’t talk to that girl” or vice versa. (I’d probably bean either or both if they did. Can’t stand that nonsense.)

We’ve spent vacation time with her family and she’s come away with us. Spend that much time with someone, s/he’s bound to get on one’s nerves. Not so with this girl. They’re a lot alike—even resemble each other a bit—in how overall easygoing each one is.

Got me thinking about how much control gets in the way of having ANY relationship, and not necessarily a romantic one.

When one lives and lets live, life is so much easier on both sides. I can be me without worrying about feeling judged. Disagreements are seen as differences of opinion and not as a personal affront (most of the time anyway). I can do what I need to do without worrying someone else is going to get bent out of shape. When that goes both ways with a spouse, parent, child or friend, I’m can pretty much guarantee a respectful, peaceful and mutually satisfying relationship where two-way interaction just flows naturally.

What are your thoughts on this? Any experiences come to mind that you’d care to share? If positive, what made them so? And if not, how did you deal?

My little home in the woods. Water to go on in about a week–that means we can actually start going again! I’m psyched!

Have a great day, all!

Joanna

Is YOUR Family on Technology Overload?

Hi all! School is underway, things are busier–again–and this parent is often (uh always) trying to keep up. Ever-evolving technology adds more pressure to our time-crunched situations. Here are some tips/ideas for staying sane in a world that moves way too fast and never seems to sleep. 

Parenting Issues Caused by Technology Overload. Help!

   

Summary:  Therapist, author and Positive Living Expert Diane Lang addresses a common question clients ask her: “How can I be a good parent with all these distractions? Between my cell phone, texting, e-mails, etc. I feel I never get a break.” Today’s technology overload creates three main fixable problems that parents should address with these specific tips listed below.

Fixable Problem #1: We Are Always “Plugged In”: Parents always felt overwhelmed and busy, but now with all the added technology, our work weeks are much longer and we feel like the world never stops. The new work week looks way different then the days of 40 hours a week. Most people work 60-80 hours a week due to longer commutes and always being “plugged in” due to technology. But this is just part of the battle…

Fixable Problem #2: Communication Issues Within Families:Technology also causes communication issues within families. I hate to tell this true story, but it nails the point. I was at dinner the other night and I saw a family of four sitting around the table waiting for their food. The mom was reading the menu but the dad and the two kids were all texting or searching on their phones. It made me sad to see a family actually have the opportunity to spend quality time together and not take advantage of it. Unfortunately, this example is quite common and becoming the norm. I know in my own household if I’m in the house and my husband is outside in the yard, he will call me on my cell before walking inside to talk to me.

Fixable Problem #3: Instant Gratification and Laziness: We have created a society of instant gratification and laziness. We see the problems in kids as a result. Their lack of physical exercise, social skills and obesity are big issues today. It’s one thing to have a group of friends, but nowadays we hear kids say “I have over a 100 friends on Facebook” but yet they only have met a few in person.

Five Tips to Fix: Because of the technology overload, we are up against new issues in parenting and relationships in general and there are no new rules or handbooks to help families handle this situation. However, some basic tips still apply to keeping a happy, healthy home:

1. Communicate - we always tell parents to spend quality time with their kids. It used to be have family dinners together. We now have to add to the dinner that there should be no technology! The dinner table should be a sacred time where everyone joins in the conversation: parents, children and other family members. Ask open ended questions that cannot be answered with a “yes” or a “no.” 

2. Be an active listener - in the world of technology, we don’t have as much face to face time BUT when we do it’s important to be a good listener. Make sure to have direct eye contact. Watch your non-verbal language, show you’re listening by nodding your head, facial expressions, etc. Listen to the whole story or question, pause to think about it and then answer. Really listen when someone talks – don’t think about your answer or another topic while they are speaking. Show you care.

3. Socialization is a key factor in our happiness.  Join in with family events, the community, friends, etc. Make sure a lot of your socialization is in person; we need face to face interaction.

4. Lose the attachment - all the latest technology is great and helpful, but we don’t NEED it. Don’t allow your life to be controlled by technology. Have technology free times such as after 8pm at night and during dinner time as mentioned above. This is your time to spend with family, read a book, etc.

5. Be a good role model - you teach your kids through your actions. Kids are visual learners so if your kids constantly see you on the phone, texting, etc. they will follow suit. If you’re ignoring your kids to text or sitting at the dinner table with your laptop or TV on, you will have your kids repeat the same behavior. Kids will imitate what they observe. What do you want them to see?

Visit Diane at her website: www.dlcounseling.com.

As always, pertinent, practical information that’s right on time! Thanks to Diane for sharing her wisdom and for allowing me to pass it on to you! And please feel free to SHARE below–I thanks ye!

Have a great day,

Joanna

PEM: Diane Lang on Life Learned!

Hi all,

Welcome to a new week and another Positive Energy Monday. Hope each of you is well.

We’ve had our fair share of challenges this week but are hanging in there as a family and trusting God with the reins. He always seems to handle them better than we do, lol. 

Funny. I always grab my good friend Diane’s inbox entries and share. This one truly applied to me this week–and especially on Sunday, when we got some unwelcome news. (Nothing horrid and totally deal-able.) Guess I can boil it down to it’s been a week of teachable moments. 

                

Every day is a learnable/teachable moment. The more I learn to live in the Now and create my day, the more I realize every moment is precious and can be learned from.

This eliminates the right and wrong. It just means what is… is what is.

It eliminates “mistakes;” instead of worrying about making a mistake I now realize that there are no mistakes,  just teachable moments.

Instead of thinking of “failures”, we just realize we need to adjust our path to fulfill our dreams and goals. Every day offers new opportunities. If you realize that, then you will realize there is no such thing as failure. A new direction has opened up.

If we think in the moment, we realize how great each moment is. You’re alive. The moment is all yours to do as you wish.

When you live in the now, you break free from control issues. In the now, we don’t worry about the future and why should we? We can’t control it anyway. We let go of the past because we realize it’s gone and we have the power to make each moment be whatever we choose.

When we live in the moment we actually stop and smell the flowers. We realize how many simple moments of pleasure we actually have each and every day. The small things give us the biggest pleasures such as my daughter’s laugh, my dog’s excitement every time I walk through the door, the warm sun and the lazy days of summer.

If we all could live in the NOW we could release a lot of our worry, anxiety and fear. Imagine life without those distractions.

For more information visit my website: www.dlcounseling.com or my blog at www.creatingbalanceandfindinghappiness.wordpress.com

Buy Diane’s books here: Baby Steps: The Path from Motherhood to Career and Creating Balance

Counseling Educator
www.dlcounseling.com

Thanks to Diane, as always, for allowing me to pass  her wisdom to you. The more I get to know her, the more I realize how much great insight she has and how blessed I am to be on the receiving end of it! 

My HMO about a book I loved later this week! Thanks for stopping in!

Joanna

Fan Fiction? Bad? Hmm…

Happy Middle-of-the-Week-Day! Hope this post finds you all well, open to possibilities and looking forward to great things!

The other day I happened on Janice Hardy’s awesome blog: The Other Side of the Story. Novice and more experienced writers will find a slew of excellent articles designed to help with any/every aspect of writing, submitting and marketing one can conceive. And tips are easily applicable, even if you’re not sitting keyboard-side.

As I browsed through the responses to a post, I noticed a comment that resonated with some of my current writing struggles. I emailed the commenter, who replied.  She touted herself as ‘bad me’ for writing fan fiction. As my response to her grew, I realized I had a blog post on my hands. So, this one is for my newest online writer-friend—almost—exactly as I wrote it in the body of the email (before I copied and pasted it into the blogging software ):

“No such thing as ‘bad’ associated with fanfic, and I’ve already done what you want to do from yours–launch an original piece. I started with a very popular, very dramatic/high-stakes two-part episode of a very popular TV series. What was great about that is I didn’t have to generate the story. The work was done for me, lol, and it gave me a great forum to start learning how to get description, dialogue, etc, on virtual paper. I also got some nice feedback from readers/fans, who felt the original characters I’d introduced into the story line were woven into it well.

So, sixty pages later, I was done, but one line from one of the show’s characters kept nagging me: how did my character meet up with the show’s (and her) hero?

My original story took off from there. I borrowed one character and what should have been one chapter became a short (but full-length) romance around him and my heroine. From there came flashbacks that wound up being NO MATTER WHY, my debut novel with The Wild Rose Press. Its sequel, NO MATTER WHAT, should have been the ‘bridge/transition story’ between NMWhy and my (original) fanfic. Since I realized the character arc for my heroine was done, my fanfic (a highly polished first draft) is now slated as the springboard for a related ‘prequel’ story showcasing minor characters introduced in NMWhat. A completely original part 3—and completion of the trilogy—is in the works (and my current problem-child wip, lol).

As per the fanfic, two very cool things came of that:

(1) I started getting positive reader feedback (especially from the webmaster) and a small following. I even got my own page on that particular fanfic site. There were at least 700 entries posted and I became one of the eight she chose to showcase and make more discoverable. Talk about a confidence boost!

(2) One of my climactic scenes–totally original–took second place in the first contest I entered. The judge’s feedback was ridiculously simple: “Go forth and publish.” Gave me the guts to go ahead and write the query for NMWhy.

So you see, writer-friend, never judge your writing efforts, no matter what form they take. As your writing journey takes shape, you’ll find where each stop on that expedition fits in the grander scheme of God’s plan for you as a writer!”

Your turn! Please take a moment to share some of the unexpected turns and twists your writing journey has taken. Do you judge yourself, or try to follow the flow of your learning experience and see where it leads?

Thanks so much to all of you for stopping in, and thanks, EP, for inspiring this post.

Happy creating,

Joanna

Wedding Anniversary Seventeen and Blog Post 230

#230: A WordPress milemarker. Ironically enough it’s on commitment. (Go figure.)

Meant to get this up and ready to go last night but hubby and I got back MUCH later than expected from our anniversary dinner. We even got to do a little dancing. Spent part of the AM in church and am now finally getting some time to get caught up.

This post recently ran over at fellow Liberty States Fiction Writer Chris Redding’s blog. Thought it appropo to run today. If you missed it, here’s your chance to catch up. If you’ve already read it–and hopefully liked it–please feel free to SHARE the thoughts!

The other morning, hubby I were hanging out in the kitchen. It was one of those fresh, sunny spring days, the kind that really brings to light how bright my kitchen is. Hubby was in a good mood—think we both were—and I noticed how his backlit green eyes really popped against the backdrop.

And it occurred to me how much I enjoy and love him these days. Or, as he would say, I was “peaking.”

Got me to thinking: We’re married seventeen years April 29. Hard to believe sometimes, but yep, that’s what it is. Most of the time, things are pretty even keel. Like others (I’m sure) we get our up days and down days; days we like each other and days we wonder, “What were we thinking?” (Hubby says we weren’t. ) Fortunately, the percentage of the latter tends to outweigh the former.

I thought a little more. Last year, right around this time, some ‘stuff’ that had been building hit its climax. Hindsight may be 20/20, but until you’re far enough away from a situation to actually have that perspective (and maybe to even see how ‘stuff’ was a set-up or segue to a greater good), surviving ‘stuff’ is a choice one makes. Sometimes one does so a day at a time; sometimes an hour at time or whatever it is those involved can handle.

We’ve gotten through other ‘stuff’ too—again, via a conscious choice to do so. We’ve drawn lines in the sand and made up our minds to agree to disagree on certain subjects. We’ve learned to joke about topics that were very hot a few years ago (not that we agree on them either and probably never will).

But we have chosen to accept each other the best we can for exactly who we are. (And learning, over the past nineteen years—we dated about eighteen months before marrying—that we’re kind of polar opposites but can OPT to make this work between us. And those lovely moments I peak? Those are the payoff for hanging tough through the times that feel tougher.

Brings me to the topic of commitment and writing. (Feel free to substitute whatever you like in place of the underlined word. Sometimes I’ll fill in the blank with exercise, day job, kids—almost anything applies.) Rather than get into a long-drawn out discussion on that I’ll simply direct you to my posts (The Big C—Parts One and Two).

These days, I feel as though I’m going through ‘stuff’ with my writing. There are so many changes in the writing world; so many opportunities, yet so much to do and a gazillion possibilities. I suppose, like the opener to Charles Dickens’ classic, A Tale of Two Cities, it is “the best of times (and…) the worst of times.” Time itself is always an issue and, lately so is my focus. (It kinda sucks. There. “I said it; yes I did,” as syndicated radio host and author Michael Baisden is wont to say.)  Story issues. Confidence (or lack of it). Things I’ve yet to learn and others I know I should be putting in motion. Fear of failure. Fear of success.

I hang in there, though, just like I have with my marriage. When I think about it, any (and almost every) relationship I’m part of is like that, right? Same with my writing. Time to make some conscious choices, beginning with a detailed plan of action, a few self-imposed deadlines, etc. If that current work-in-progress (wip) just isn’t working, maybe it’s time to turn my energies to another wip or begin a new one altogether. I’ve taken steps back to learn parts of the craft where I feel weak. I’ve reached out for help from fellow writers. (Now I’ve got to take the plunge and accept some of the offers— What?! Expose that disaster of a document I call ‘scratch pad’? Let people see how truly convoluted my grey matter is, lol? Nah. I’ll take fingernails being dragged down the chalkboard for $200, Mr. Trebec.”)

Then I remember one last thing, something the inspiring Ms. Jody Hedlund alluded to in a recent post at her blog. She talked about my unique writer’s journey and the pace I may be meant to keep. How I translate that to apply to me: I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be (in God’s plan for me, or so I choose to think). If that’s the case, then all I need to do is hang in a little longer, keep taking steps in positive directions and, like these days with hubby, enjoy peaking during a much-welcomed moment of payoff.

So what are your thoughts on these topics? What gets you through the stuff of life and what payoffs have you been blessed to experience? Are you following the pace that’s right for you? Do you feel as though you’re where you’re meant to be at this very moment in time?

Have a great day,

Joanna

You Can Retrain Your Brain!

Happy new week, everyone! Hope you enjoyed the weekend. For those of us who had spring break, it’s (hear the song in your head): “Back to life, back to reality.” On the upside, I’m looking at a few weeks until the Memorial Day break, then summer comes, extended school year program (my ‘break’ job), etc.

Life coach and good friend Diane Lang dropped another one of her gems in my inbox. Y’all know how I love to share all the positive thinking articles she passes on. Here is her latest:

      

Retrain the Brain – Making changes!

1. Thought patterns produce feelings. Feelings produce actions.

What you think = Feel=Believe = Who you are!

Watch what you’re thinking – it’s very powerful.

This means you can change your thoughts and control your actions. (It’s a matter of practice!)

2. What type of thoughts are you having?

You can’t make changes until you’re aware of what you need to change. Awareness is key!

Know Physical signs of negativity – The red flags of stress, anxiety, anger, etc. Do the Snap 2 Awareness Test* and find out how negative you are. Find out your triggers. (Diane speaks about this tool in her book, Creating Balance.)

3. Negative thoughts are irrational; positive thoughts are rational. A lot of character traits are learned along with habits/thought patterns. You can unlearn them and learn new thoughts/habits.

4. Clear you’re emotional debt –What are the old thoughts/habits you’re holding onto?

Why? What need is it fitting? Like fear, guilt, comfort, etc.

5. Forgiveness – forgive yourself for your old thoughts/habits, etc. You were only doing what you thought was best, you were trying your best. If you don’t forgive yourself you will hold onto past hurts, anger and not move forward. Quick way to live in the Now: forgive yourself so you can move on and forward. Forgiveness puts you in the power position, back in the driver’s seat.

Use compassion, empathy and love to forgive

6. Emotional detox – you can’t change if you’re surrounded by toxic, negative people and environments.

7. Positive Affirmations – this needs to be done each and every day. Morning and night. They are most powerful done in front of a mirror. Say them everyday until it becomes a habit. This starts changing your thought patterns.

EXAMPLE: If you think you’re no good, worthless, no-one cares, etc, then your affirmation should be: I love and accept myself.

8. Every time you have a negative thought or comments imagine a symbol that means STOP!  The hand up, stop sign, red light, etc. Something that symbolizes a change in behavior.

9. Change your words and how you talk to yourself. Remove negative words such as: Can’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t, maybe, etc. Replace with

I can.

I will.

Choose.

My choice.

I’m free to, etc.

10. Learn what you can and can’t control.

EXAMPLE: I can’t control what someone says or does but I can control how I respond to it. (A great way to do so is to take a step back before responding or reacting. Takes practice too.)

11. Visualize the change – What do your changes/goals look like? How will you feel? Act? How has your environment or people changed?  Use your senses to imagine your dreams/ goals/ changes.

12. Be patient and kind to yourself – it takes time to change at least 6-8 weeks.

No instant gratification.

Be realistic.

Baby steps.

Keep up motivation with positive reinforcement.

Change one habit at a time.

*Note: The Snap 2 Awareness test is not an actual quiz but more of a tool. Wear a rubber band for a day and snap it every time you say or think something negative. At the end of the day, count how many snaps you have by keeping a tally score on a little memo pad. The normal amount is 175-200 snaps a day. Doing so helps make you aware of your negativity.

For more information visit Diane’s website atwww.dlcounseling.com or e-mail Diane at Lifeline36@aol.com

Diane Lang, MA
Counseling Educator
www.dlcounseling.com

Counseling Educator
www.dlcounseling.com

Modern American Tragedy: House of Sand and Fog

Good day, everyone!

Anybody out there remember Woody Woodpecker? No, I wasn’t a fan, but my brothers watched it on occasion. I only remember one episode. Woody found a (planted) buried treasure map and took off on a destined-to-fail journey to find it. (No! You don’t say!) He spent all his time (and money) trying to resolve the conflict but only got in deeper every minute.

Meanwhile, a Captain Haddock kept following the action. All he said over and over was,

“If Woody had gone right to the police, this would never have happened.”

That’s the line that kept jumping into my head the deeper I got into Andre Dubus III’s House of Sand and Fog.

  http://andredubus.com

Disclaimer: I happened upon this book at my school’s teacher’s lunchroom. In no way was this review solicited nor was I paid to share my thoughts on it. I do so because I felt deeply impacted by this story. 

This conflict-driven thriller grabbed me early on through its first person points of view of the lead characters. Colonel Behrani is an immigrant who has one goal: re-establish the lifestyle his family was accustomed to before their flight from Iran when the Shah’s regime was overtaken. We meet him as a ‘garbage soldier’ (i.e., part of the California highway clean-up committee) and convenience store worker, holding both jobs simultaneously to maintain the façade his wife insists upon, at least until their daughter has married someone from an Iranian family with a lifestyle. The colonel also knows his fourteen year-old son is eventually to attend university and will need funds to see him through. (Neither child knows the colonel’s circumstances. He hides them well.)

The colonel though, is seriously burnt. The American dream appears to have eluded his family and he decides real estate is his escape from the drudgery he lives daily. When he comes upon across a newspaper ad announcing a tiny bungalow being auctioned by the county, he jumps on it. He spends $45K of the $48K left of his savings and purchases the home.

Kathy Nicolo, a recovering addict who makes a job-to-job living cleaning homes, is ousted from the one she inherited from her father. Eight months prior, her husband left her, giving her no reason why. Driven by her need to prove to her family (who lives on the east coast) she is not the failure she believes they think she is, Kathy keeps her falling-apart-life to herself.

Lester Burdon is the married deputy sheriff who is present when Kathy is forced to leave her home. Drawn to her for reasons he can’t explain, he begins offering his help and soon finds himself in love. (Not sure how much his judgment was impaired before he met up with her.)

In a nutshell, this story is a collection of characters’ choices that culminate in calamity. I wanted to choke every single one. Each one’s backstory, however, lent me no option but to have compassion and some understanding of what drove their actions. This is a rough story to watch play out, but one you’ll never forget either. Oh, and Mr. DuBos leaves no loose story ends; he ties up every one.

For those who’d rather watch the movie version (which I have not): here’s a link to the trailer. Chances are, you can find it On Demand via your cable service or on Netflix. (Loved the casting of Ben Kingly as the colonel. Nothing against Jennifer Connelly and Ron Eldard, but I’m not sure I agree with them as Kathy and Lester—thought they were a bit young. Ron Eldard, though has a great look for personifying Lester’s underlying insecurity.)

Finally, for the Woody Woodpecker fans, watch Bunco Busters. I loved it today as much as I did then. Hate to say it, but in its own strange way the episode is a great illustration of House’s conflict (minus the installment’s happy ending).

Here’s to a wonderful day to all! If you enjoyed the content, please take a second to click a SHARE button below! Thank you!

Joanna

 

Commitment 2012

Hi all,

I’m hanging out with the very talented Chris Redding today. Join us at her place!

Joanna

Discipline V. Control (Part 4): An Opportunity to Learn

Happy Tuesday! To those of you who returning for more of this series, I do thank you. For those just tuning in, here are links to parts one, two and three–in case you want to catch up!

One more illustration on discipline, control and the idea of giving a kid the opportunity to learn, then I promise I’ll let this subject go—after one more post. (If y’all want to deal in it more, feel free to let me know in the comments, via email or on Facebook.)

This example is fresh in my mind, as it took place the week I was getting together this monster of a post, lol. My younger guy—the thirteen year-old I’m giving up for Lent—can be a little inflexible in his thinking and difficult to redirect once he has an idea in his head. I can also tell you, he’s typically not nice when he doesn’t get his way.

Like his mother, he likes order and visually pleasing spaces. One evening, he wanted to hang a curtain in the doorway between the laundry room and the semi-finished area of the basement where he hangs out to play video games. I hung the brackets for a rod there about 8:30PM and gave him an idea of how to thread the curtain onto a rod. (He got one from my bedroom closet about an hour later.)

I’d just sat down  to check email (circa 10PM) when he started calling for help with the curtain rod, which he didn’t know how to get onto the brackets. Long story short, he started throwing a typical fit when I told him I’d help him the next day. Rather than react—a.k.a. yell (and please don’t ask me where I get this stuff)—I told him he was putting me in the position of being a ‘bad parent’ if I went down to help him when he was behaving in such a manner. He blustered some more then all got quiet downstairs. Next thing I know, he came up, gave me a hug and said, “I figured it out.” (Maybe I’ll give him up for only part of Lent.)

See? This post is even shorter. (I think. ) Back to your experiences. What’s worked for you? What hasn’t?

Next time, I’ll take this one step further: regrouping and starting your day over after you’ve really lost it with your kids–probably the hardest thing I’ve had to do.

Okay, my new mantra of a request: if you like what you read here, would you kindly take a second and click the Facebook, Twitter or any of the share buttons below? (Any others you like that I may not be represented here works as well!) Reblogging is nice too, and helps get word out to others in cyberspace. By working together, we can each get our content and our names out to that many more people. Mega-thanks!

Have an awesome day,

Joanna