Fast Forward to Managing Holiday Stress!

Hi all,

Hope all is well with everyone! If I don’t get these posts into place the weekend before, life on the day-to-day gets so busy-nutty, I can’t make the time to catch up! Just last night, hubby-the-hero-not-a-plumber-but-gets-the-job-done (and I, the assistant) wound up making an  unscheduled trip to my mom’s to do an unexpected faucet installation. And seems every night something else is going on. It is what it is, right? (Though I offer no complaints. There are those in serious and dire situations. I am inconvenienced.)

But, that does tie nicely into…

Wow. As a kid there was no way I could understand why adults found the holiday season so stressful.  Christmas is only a small part of the pressure-I’m-feeling deal; all credit, too, to my younger son (14 y/o) who loves the decorating (inside and out), tree-trimming and gift-wrapping enough to take over most of it! Hubby handled lights inside so the place has a loverly glow in the evenings. They’ve done a phenomenal job and taken a lot of the work load off of me! Thanks, men!

I love Jack Henry, the rabbit. My first Christmas with hubby, my sisters-in-law (to be at the time) dumped JH on my lap and told me not to expect gifts in the future, lol.

This one is my favorite. My older guy was two and painted this creation. When I asked him what it was, he told me, “Santa’s Footprints.” It is now one of my standard Christmas decorations and will be until the day I pass it on to him.

Back to the original reason for this post! I’m sharing my dear friend Diane Lang’s article on handling the holiday season in a more peaceful, positive way. Here is the link to her most recent article! If it speaks to you, please feel free to share and possibly come back here to share your thoughts on her timely tips!

Have a wonderful day, everyone!

Joanna

Retrain the Brain for Success in 2013!

Yep. Hate to admit it, but a new year lurks around the corner, friends. Thanks for being patient with me lately. Ever since Superstorm Sandy made her way up the east coast I can’t seem to get it together. (I’m also working on an extended post that connects to it, but that seems to have loomed as large as the storm that inspired (?) it. 

So what does a blogger do in the meantime? Lean on the help of friends, thank you very much. Here is  the latest from therapist, author and Positive Living Expert, Diane Lang–and exactly what this blogger needed ! I so thank her for the today’s tips and now turn the blog over to Diane…

      

Before we know it the holidays will be in full swing and another new year will be on the horizon.  Now is the time to start reflecting on the past year (not dwelling – there is a difference) and looking forward to a new year.  As we set goals and resolutions start preparing now for success in 2013 (and still for 2012!), here are nine tips to retrain your brain for success:  

1. Thoughts produce actions. Change your actions/behaviors by changing how you think. Be self-aware of your negativity. Once you are aware, you can make changes.

2. Know your triggers. What locations or people cause you stress? Once you figure out your triggers, you can set up boundaries and limitations.

3. Make positive affirmations a daily habit. Start every day with a positive thought. For example: I’m healing from an illness so I wake up daily saying, “I’m healthy and happy!” or “I’m feeling better each day.”

4. Listen to yourself talk.  Remove words such as: I can’t, I won’t, I shouldn’t, I don’t want, could,would, maybe, etc. Use new POSITIVE words: I choose, I can, I want, I am, it’s my choice, I’m free to, etc.

5. Emotional detox. Remove the toxic people from your life. Moods and emotions are contagious so you want to surround yourself with positive people. If you’re surrounded by toxic people, they can drain you and bring you down.

6. Change the things you can control.  When making changes work on things you CAN control; if you constantly work on things you can’t control, you will be setting yourself up for failure. You will feel frustrated and stressed. Work on what you CAN.

7. Clear your emotional debt.  What old thoughts or habits are you holding onto? What need is it fitting? What new thought could you replace it with? What are you afraid of?

8. Visualize the change.  What does your life look like with the new changes and thoughts? How do you act differently? How do you feel? How has your environment or people change? Visualize you with the new habits/thoughts. If you can see it, you can get there!

9. Stick with it!  Be patient, kind and gentle with yourself. Change is a process that takes time and work.

As always, Diane’s thoughts and tips are right on time and I’m always grateful to have them to share with all of you! Please feel free to contact her at her website, and please consider adding one of her books to your gift-list for that special person who–like me–might need to slow down!

Have a great day and Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Joanna

SAD–Don’t Let It Get the Best of You! (Part 2)

Welcome to Thursday, friends and followers. For those whose kids brought home pillowcases full of Halloween candy, good luck on dealing with having it in the house, lol! If you’re stuck with leftover candy and/or acquired way-too-much to keep, you may want to consider looking into local programs that ship candy to our military personnel overseas. Sometimes what appear to be the smallest acts of kindness can bring joy to folks under a totally different type of stress–and who doesn’t love a care package?

   

Back to today’s topic! Last time, my dear friend Diane Lang discussed Seasonal Affective Disorder and some of its apparently known causes. (Here’s the link to Part 1–please remember to come back!)

Treatment for Seasonal Affective Disorder – 10 Tips to Prevent the Winter Blues 

There are treatment options for SAD so you can stay happy during the longer, darker and colder winter days.  Here are some tips to help prevent the winter blues:

1. Get as much light as you can even when you’re indoors. Open Tahoe shades, roll up the curtains, move your desk near the windows, etc.

2. Spend time outdoors during the daylight hours. The weather is cold and snowy but we do know that being outside in the winter months is beneficial. Go outside for quick walks and sit in the sun to help lift your spirits. After a few days of spending some time outdoors, you will start feeling a little better.

3. Add exercise into your daily routine. Exercise, even just walking, produces endorphins and reduces stress hormones at the same time so you get a boost of happiness.

4. Make sure to add some fun into your life. Even though the weather keeps us homebound, it doesn’t mean you can’t have fun! Instead of feeling trapped inside, find ways to engage in things you love.

5. Be social even in the winter months. Adding more social activities where you will be surrounded with family and friends can give the extra support you need.

6. Take a vacation. Some clients feel a sense of isolation and loneliness in the winter months, if this is the case setting up vacation time in warm, sunny spots can help and give you something to look forward to.

7. Try “Light Therapy.” We know that increased sunlight helps improve the symptoms of SAD. There are certain lights you can buy called “Light Therapy Box” which mimics outside light and helps you lift your mood and spirits.

8. See a counselor before winter starts. If you have a mild case, you can take preventive methods such as seeking a counselor right before late fall to start talking to someone who can help.

9. Medications - Doctors have prescribed anti-depressants that have worked well for some patients.

10. Psychotherapy (i.e., counseling) is another great option. The therapist can help you identify your negative thoughts and behaviors and help change them. A therapist can also help you find good coping skills to feel better.

What I love about Diane’s tips is how practical each is–and most at little to no damage to one’s wallet or purse. #3 is probably my saving grace. Exercise–especially walking and/or dancing to my favorite tracts–keeps me upbeat. The endorphins–i.e., feel-good hormones–released when one exercises regularly are for real. And feeling good about how I look just bumps up my mood and outlook that much  more!

As always, special thanks to Diane for sharing her wisdom and ideas! And to you of course, for stopping by and adding to the possibilities via sharing what has worked for you. And if you please, won’t you take a moment click one of the SHARE buttons?

Take care all!

Joanna

Seasonal Affective Disorder: Don’t Let It Get the Best of You! (Part 1)

Happy Tuesday everyone. Hope all is well in your respective worlds. (Somehow, I’m getting by without tennis but that might be a good thing, lol.)

So: Fall is in full swing and the chill is upon us! If there were one season I could skip, it would be winter. Don’t hate it but I don’t look forward to it.

         

Summary:  As the cold weather approaches, therapist, author and Positive Living Expert, Diane Lang, explains what Seasonal Affective Disorder is, symptoms of it, and 10 tips to prevent the winter blues so we can stay happy during the longer, darker and colder winter days. 

It’s almost that time of year again — cold weather, snow, ice, clouds and days with less sunlight.

For parents, winter is a tough time — finding activities that are always inside, worrying about snow days and delays and making sure kids get plenty of physical exercise even though the weather is cold and the days are shorter.

On top of that some parents (and non parents) have to deal with a type of depression called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). This type of depression usually happens in the winter months due to the weather and shorter periods of daylight. Being that this type of depression isseasonal, the symptoms usually come back the same time every year and go away around the same time. The symptoms usually start late fall or early winter and the symptoms start to disappear when the warmer weather and longer days of sunlight return.

Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder

If you are feeling under the weather during the cold winter months but not sure if you are havingseasonal affective disorder, here are some of the symptoms associated with SAD.

1. Feelings of sadness, hopelessness and anxiety during the winter months.

2. Feeling fatigue, loss of energy, trouble concentrating and unmotivated.

3.  The feelings of sadness, fatigue, isolated, etc. start out mild and become more severe as the winter progresses.

4. Change in appetite and sleeping habits.

5. Social withdrawal – loss of interest in social activities and hobbies. I know a few clients who “hibernate” during the winter months. They don’t leave their house very often during the winter months, they stop socializing and enjoying their daily activities – they start feeling isolated, lonely and depressed. Watch out for this pattern.

The cause of Seasonal Affective Disorder is still unknown, but we know environmental factors plays a role. I have a client who lives in upstate New York near a lake and gets “the lake effect” where he gets so much snow and very little sun all winter. This client has had SAD at the same time every year since his move to upstate New York.  We also know that SAD can run in the family – genetics plays a role. SAD is more common in women and we usually see symptoms starting in young adulthood.

Think we’ll stop here for today, class. Thursday I’ll post Diane’s 10 Tips to prevent the winter doldrums. I know I start counting the days until spring beginning with the winter solstice! 

Have a great day!

Joanna

Ten Tips To Sweep Out Stress–Declutter Your Life

Hi everyone,

So sorry I’ve been MIA these past two weeks–keeping up with added running around on my to-do list and not all of it mine, lol. Hopefully, life will return to normal sooner than later.

Lucky for me I’ve got wonderful friends sending great content this way. Then I get to share with you! Here are Diane Lang’s top ten tips for minimizing stress. (Thanks, Diane!)

BIO: Diane Lang – Positive Living Expert and psychotherapist – is a nationally recognized author, educator, speaker, therapist and media expert. Lang is extremely mediagenic and offers expertise on a variety of health and wellness topics about creating balance and finding happiness through positive living. Lang offers expertise in multiple mental health, lifestyle and parenting needs.  In addition to holding multiple counseling positions, Diane is also an adjunct professor at Montclair State University and Centenary College.

     

1. Basic needs - Make sure your basic needs are met. Keep a journal for a week of what you eat, how much sleep you get, did you exercise, etc. At the end of the week you can get a clear picture of what’s going on in your life and what changes you can make.

2. Gratitude – start your day off with gratitude checks – this will help you see things clearly and change your perspective.

3. Can/can’t control – work on what you can control. If we continue to work on things we have no control over, we will always feel frustrated and stressed.

4. Social support – have a support system set up.

5. Self soothe – when things become stressful and you’re feeling out of balance, find ways to calm down by doing activities that soothe you such as a bath, talking a walk, listening to music, etc.

6. Pay it forward – we always feel happier when we help others.

7. Exercise is the one of the best and most natural ways to de-stress. If we walk four times a week for 30 minutes, each time we get the similar results as taking an anti-anxiety drug.

8. Nature instantly calms us – spend more time outdoors.

9. Add variety to your life and spice it up. Every time we try something new we get a boost of happiness – when you’re happy you are less stressed.

10. Enjoy the simple things in life – take the small things you love like a cup of coffee, talking to your friend, reading a book and actually enjoy it. Spend time doing that one activity.

I love how number 10 ties it all together, as every one of these suggestions really is simple and easy to employ. I try really hard to incorporate each one but sometimes fall short with #4 and #9.

Your turn! How do you destress? Any of the above areas you feel a need to work on? Did you get the Halloween candy yet?

Have a great week, friends,

Joanna

Starting Fresh in September!

Welcome to the third week of September–already! Fall is upon us and before you know it…okay, not going there.

I am blessed with great friends who pass along great content. This is Diane’ Lang’s most recent addition to her collection of informative, inspiring posts. As always, my thanks! 

   

I always look at September (right after labor day) as a fresh start. We all go back to work, kids go back to school and college starts. It’s the time of year when life can be chaotic. This is the time to remember that your lifestyle = your levels of depression or happiness. How we treat ourselves plays an important role in our moods and our health. Let’s make this September a great start to the new school year.

Here are a few tips/reminder on having a healthy, happy lifestyle:

1. Make sure your basic needs are met: we are more relaxed in the summer. Life is easier going but once we go back into full swing we tend to sleep less, drink more caffeine and eat terrible. If we don’t take care of our basic needs, we will feel stressed and unbalanced. Take inventory the first week by writing down in a journal: what you are eating, how many hours of sleep you’re getting, did you exercise, etc. This will give you an honest indicator of what is really going on in your life and from there you can make changes.

2. Even though the days are getting shorter and its getting cooler out, we still need plenty of sunlight and fresh air. We feel calm when we spend time in nature. Sunlight also lowers our stress hormones and reduces anxiety. We also get Vitamin D from sunlight which is great for our bones and our moods. Get outside and enjoy the cool, crisp fall air. Add some exercise to your outside experience by taking a nature walk, apple picking, pumpkin picking, etc.

3. Boredom – boredom leads to frustration. We should never be bored, there is so much to see and do in this world. If you’re bored, it’s a sign your not living life to the fullest.

4. Professional and personal development – keep growing and learning. If we stop we become stale and stagnate. Stagnation can lead to depression. Make sure that every few months you do something to broaden your horizons. For a lot of us, we can multi-task by taking a professional development class and getting the credit at work or towards our licenses.

5. Take time to enjoy the simple things in life – this gets harder as we get busy but even just sitting down for dinner with the family (without technology) and enjoying a good conversation will give you a boost of happiness.

6. Going back to school and work sometimes leaves us with little time to enjoy activities we love. Make sure to add some” flow” into your life by doing activities that you enjoy so much you forget about time and you’re in the moment.

For more information visit Diane’s website at: www.dlcounseling.com

Diane Lang, MA
Counseling Educator
www.dlcounseling.com

PEM: Diane Lang on Life Learned!

Hi all,

Welcome to a new week and another Positive Energy Monday. Hope each of you is well.

We’ve had our fair share of challenges this week but are hanging in there as a family and trusting God with the reins. He always seems to handle them better than we do, lol. 

Funny. I always grab my good friend Diane’s inbox entries and share. This one truly applied to me this week–and especially on Sunday, when we got some unwelcome news. (Nothing horrid and totally deal-able.) Guess I can boil it down to it’s been a week of teachable moments. 

                

Every day is a learnable/teachable moment. The more I learn to live in the Now and create my day, the more I realize every moment is precious and can be learned from.

This eliminates the right and wrong. It just means what is… is what is.

It eliminates “mistakes;” instead of worrying about making a mistake I now realize that there are no mistakes,  just teachable moments.

Instead of thinking of “failures”, we just realize we need to adjust our path to fulfill our dreams and goals. Every day offers new opportunities. If you realize that, then you will realize there is no such thing as failure. A new direction has opened up.

If we think in the moment, we realize how great each moment is. You’re alive. The moment is all yours to do as you wish.

When you live in the now, you break free from control issues. In the now, we don’t worry about the future and why should we? We can’t control it anyway. We let go of the past because we realize it’s gone and we have the power to make each moment be whatever we choose.

When we live in the moment we actually stop and smell the flowers. We realize how many simple moments of pleasure we actually have each and every day. The small things give us the biggest pleasures such as my daughter’s laugh, my dog’s excitement every time I walk through the door, the warm sun and the lazy days of summer.

If we all could live in the NOW we could release a lot of our worry, anxiety and fear. Imagine life without those distractions.

For more information visit my website: www.dlcounseling.com or my blog at www.creatingbalanceandfindinghappiness.wordpress.com

Buy Diane’s books here: Baby Steps: The Path from Motherhood to Career and Creating Balance

Counseling Educator
www.dlcounseling.com

Thanks to Diane, as always, for allowing me to pass  her wisdom to you. The more I get to know her, the more I realize how much great insight she has and how blessed I am to be on the receiving end of it! 

My HMO about a book I loved later this week! Thanks for stopping in!

Joanna

Coney Island’s Infamous Cyclone and Weight Loss (?)

Welcome, everyone. Getting off to a late start this week–I’m starting to get how retired people are sometimes busier than those doing a 5+ day nine-to-five. Give someone a few extra hours and everyone wants a piece, lol. 

Wimbledon wrapped up pretty well with the always awesome Roger Federer claiming his SEVENTH title there. Hey! He just tied Rafa’s French Open title record. Hmmm…

Photo courtesy of therisinghollywood.com

Back to business! Positive living expert Diane Lang is here to talk about a topic I deal in daily (a little better these days than in the past, I hope). Since I’m sure this is a pretty universal topic, figure I’d share it here. Thanks, Diane!

    

The weight loss roller coaster—Diane Lang

When we lose weight we expect to feel great! We just reached our goal and dream! It’s a great accomplishment yet many of my clients lose all their weight and still feel unsatisfied with their life. They won’t feel the happiness they expected. They get a short boost of happiness from the weight loss but after a few weeks or month the happiness fades.

A common question that my clients ask: I lost my weight why don’t I feel better emotionally? My clients will explain that they expected a rise in their self-esteem and happiness but for some this does not happen. Unfortunately, this is more common then we think. Here are some reasons for our lack of happiness:

1. Unrealistic expectations – we assume weight loss will end of all of our problems. That weight loss would solve everything. The truth is if you gained a lot of weight, there is a reason behind it. If you lose weight but don’t deal with the reason you gained it in the first place, you won’t feel happier. Odds are you will gain the weight back.  Example: I have clients who ate due to loneliness. If you diet and lose the weight but don’t become more social and get support you won’t feel happier and you will eventually fall back into your old habit of eating when you feel lonely. Weight loss is great, but always look at the bigger picture.

2. Fear of success – I lost the weight, now what? We are all aware of the fear of failure but I think a lot of my clients never realize you can also fear success. A lot of clients don’t know what their next goal will be. They have put so much effort into their weight loss that they don’t know who they will be as a thin person. What will be their new identity?

Make sure to know who you are as a person. Your weight doesn’t equal who you are inside. A lot of my clients identify themselves as being ”fat”. That is who they think they are. They become comfortable with their identity. When you shed pounds, you should also shed your past baggage. Start the next chapter of your life.

3. Enjoyment – I have watched some of my clients become so obsessed with dieting and weight loss they never get to enjoy the journey or their accomplishments We need to have positive reinforcement along our path of weight loss. Make sure to reward yourself with praise and even a gift now and then. Recognize your accomplishments; be proud of your hard work. Remember, you deserve to be happy!

4. Media – be careful of the media. TV, Magazines Internet, etc all promote that happiness = thin (and young) yet we are all different. Never compare yourself to anyone else. It’s a myth that being thin means you are happy. I hate to say this but I have “thin” clients who are depressed. Just be you! We are our happiest when we are ourselves. Be true to you!

Questions? Email Diane: lifeline36@aol.com

Join Diane on Thursdays starting July 12 at 7pm for this awesome 8 week class:

Thriving Not Just Surviving

Burlington County college, MT Holly campus

609-877-4520

Monday, July 16th at 6:45pm – Empowerfitness- Letting go of Anger workshop

Lawrenceville, NJ 609-882-4500

Tuesday July 17th from 3-5 or 6-8 Warren Community College – Let’s Talk About Bullying

908-689-7613

Monday, July 23 at 7pm – Create balance & Relieve Anxiety - Union County College, NJ

908-709-7601

Thursday, July 26 at 6pm – Retirement University – Morgan Stanley, Paramus, NJ

Now if I kept that kind of schedule I’d be thin (???).  And since that so ain’t so, stop back on Friday for an easy summer recipe sure to please!  Have a great day!

Joanna

Healthy Snack–I’m Thinking Not–Part 2 (Makeovers)

Good day, everyone. Looking forward to a great day and weekend filled with tennis. The French Open is seriously sidetracking me from other things I should be doing, lol. Coverage for this tournament has seriously improved. (Thanks, ESPN, NBC and Tennis Channel. You’re all making one girl quite happy! : Maybe I’ll even get all that junk mail sitting on my enclosed front porch separated and ready for the mobile shredder–one can hope and set those lofty goals, right?))

For fellow blogger Janet S: See how the middle of the zucch blossom looks as if there are multiple stamens in there? That’s the bloom you DON’T pick!

Back to business: Last time I went into a mini-rant about the hidden hazards of foods deemed “healthy” by one internet article I read. I also promised a few of my fixes for the problem. Please keep in my mind I AM NOT A HEALTH OR NUTRITION EXPERT. These are simply some tweaks that have worked for me. Check with your physician if you have any questions, and especially if you have any health concerns.

Having shared that disclaimer, here are some ways I “healthy up” a snack:

Flavored yogurts: unless they’re sugar-free (and usually sweetened with aspartame or sucralose), I’m looking at 26 gramsof sugar per 6-8-oz serving or the equivalent of 6.5 added measured teaspoons. On one container from the fridge (hubby likes them), sugar was the second ingredient listed; corn syrup the fourth.

Are you kidding me???? See what I mean about hidden diet dangers? I’ve learned to substitute a fat-free plain yogurt (Greek-strained is awesome), flavor it with natural daniva (i.e., vanilla, as my son used to say), sugar substitute or even some sugar-free coffee creamer.

I know, I know. Honey and fresh or frozen fruits (i.e., strawberries, blueberries, peaches, etc) would be better sweetener choices.  Remind me to work on that.

Cookies: no matter WHAT you choose you’re looking at starch. Starch—good or not—is bound to expand bellies, butts and thighs. I believe no food group should be eliminated, so how about oatmeal cookies or graham crackers? Both made from better grains than most store-bought chocolate chips or shortbread. (Ever do natural peanut butter and jelly on either of my preferred two? Guaranteed awesome snack, dessert or even breakfast. Sprinkle on some plain—preferably not instant—oatmeal for added fiber. (BTW, if you’re into baking, cookies made with whole wheat white flour—especially oatmeal-raisin—usually bake up really similar to their white-flour counterparts.)

Cereals: what a bummer this was for someone who probably made her career weight-gain chomping down on bowl after bowl as a kid watching soaps during summer vacation from school. If you’re under10 gramsof sugar for any box of pre-sweetened cereals, consider that one of your better choices. “Healthy” options (i.e., raisin brans, etc) are usually 15 grams/serving or more.

What’s a weight-conscious person to do?

My super-easy fix: measure half a serving of your favorite mixed with an unsweetened “filler.” Example: I love Honey-Nut Cheerios. I’ll buy a box of that and one of regular Cheerios (which really do have an awesome taste all their own with1 gramof sugar/serving). Mix equal parts of each, or even bump up the unsweetened counterpart—as long as I taste the sweeter one, I’m good! Another ready alternative: have that traditional oatmeal on hand and mix it with your favorite sweet cereal using the ratios I just listed. Takes a bit of getting used because of its chewiness, but easy to love in the long run.

Pre-packed oatmeal is another major trap (unless it’s plain) and easy to healthy-up with little to no effort. So much cheaper too! I stir milk, vanilla and sugar substitute into a serving of old-fashioned oats (the canister kind) and heat for one minute on high in the microwave. Breakfast is served. (Doing the cereal-mix here too, especially with plain Cheerios or shredded wheat makes for a seriously hearty whole/multi-grain breakfast. Add cinnamon, raisins, dried cranberries, bananas—whatever excites you—and you’re talking serious yum to start your day.

So how do you stay clear of pitfalls that look good enough to eat? Please share if you dare and maybe click a SHARE button before you go, too. As always, I thank you!

Here’s to a wonderful day to all,

Joanna

You Can Retrain Your Brain!

Happy new week, everyone! Hope you enjoyed the weekend. For those of us who had spring break, it’s (hear the song in your head): “Back to life, back to reality.” On the upside, I’m looking at a few weeks until the Memorial Day break, then summer comes, extended school year program (my ‘break’ job), etc.

Life coach and good friend Diane Lang dropped another one of her gems in my inbox. Y’all know how I love to share all the positive thinking articles she passes on. Here is her latest:

      

Retrain the Brain – Making changes!

1. Thought patterns produce feelings. Feelings produce actions.

What you think = Feel=Believe = Who you are!

Watch what you’re thinking – it’s very powerful.

This means you can change your thoughts and control your actions. (It’s a matter of practice!)

2. What type of thoughts are you having?

You can’t make changes until you’re aware of what you need to change. Awareness is key!

Know Physical signs of negativity – The red flags of stress, anxiety, anger, etc. Do the Snap 2 Awareness Test* and find out how negative you are. Find out your triggers. (Diane speaks about this tool in her book, Creating Balance.)

3. Negative thoughts are irrational; positive thoughts are rational. A lot of character traits are learned along with habits/thought patterns. You can unlearn them and learn new thoughts/habits.

4. Clear you’re emotional debt –What are the old thoughts/habits you’re holding onto?

Why? What need is it fitting? Like fear, guilt, comfort, etc.

5. Forgiveness – forgive yourself for your old thoughts/habits, etc. You were only doing what you thought was best, you were trying your best. If you don’t forgive yourself you will hold onto past hurts, anger and not move forward. Quick way to live in the Now: forgive yourself so you can move on and forward. Forgiveness puts you in the power position, back in the driver’s seat.

Use compassion, empathy and love to forgive

6. Emotional detox – you can’t change if you’re surrounded by toxic, negative people and environments.

7. Positive Affirmations – this needs to be done each and every day. Morning and night. They are most powerful done in front of a mirror. Say them everyday until it becomes a habit. This starts changing your thought patterns.

EXAMPLE: If you think you’re no good, worthless, no-one cares, etc, then your affirmation should be: I love and accept myself.

8. Every time you have a negative thought or comments imagine a symbol that means STOP!  The hand up, stop sign, red light, etc. Something that symbolizes a change in behavior.

9. Change your words and how you talk to yourself. Remove negative words such as: Can’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t, maybe, etc. Replace with

I can.

I will.

Choose.

My choice.

I’m free to, etc.

10. Learn what you can and can’t control.

EXAMPLE: I can’t control what someone says or does but I can control how I respond to it. (A great way to do so is to take a step back before responding or reacting. Takes practice too.)

11. Visualize the change – What do your changes/goals look like? How will you feel? Act? How has your environment or people changed?  Use your senses to imagine your dreams/ goals/ changes.

12. Be patient and kind to yourself – it takes time to change at least 6-8 weeks.

No instant gratification.

Be realistic.

Baby steps.

Keep up motivation with positive reinforcement.

Change one habit at a time.

*Note: The Snap 2 Awareness test is not an actual quiz but more of a tool. Wear a rubber band for a day and snap it every time you say or think something negative. At the end of the day, count how many snaps you have by keeping a tally score on a little memo pad. The normal amount is 175-200 snaps a day. Doing so helps make you aware of your negativity.

For more information visit Diane’s website atwww.dlcounseling.com or e-mail Diane at Lifeline36@aol.com

Diane Lang, MA
Counseling Educator
www.dlcounseling.com

Counseling Educator
www.dlcounseling.com