You Can Retrain Your Brain!

Happy new week, everyone! Hope you enjoyed the weekend. For those of us who had spring break, it’s (hear the song in your head): “Back to life, back to reality.” On the upside, I’m looking at a few weeks until the Memorial Day break, then summer comes, extended school year program (my ‘break’ job), etc.

Life coach and good friend Diane Lang dropped another one of her gems in my inbox. Y’all know how I love to share all the positive thinking articles she passes on. Here is her latest:

      

Retrain the Brain – Making changes!

1. Thought patterns produce feelings. Feelings produce actions.

What you think = Feel=Believe = Who you are!

Watch what you’re thinking – it’s very powerful.

This means you can change your thoughts and control your actions. (It’s a matter of practice!)

2. What type of thoughts are you having?

You can’t make changes until you’re aware of what you need to change. Awareness is key!

Know Physical signs of negativity – The red flags of stress, anxiety, anger, etc. Do the Snap 2 Awareness Test* and find out how negative you are. Find out your triggers. (Diane speaks about this tool in her book, Creating Balance.)

3. Negative thoughts are irrational; positive thoughts are rational. A lot of character traits are learned along with habits/thought patterns. You can unlearn them and learn new thoughts/habits.

4. Clear you’re emotional debt –What are the old thoughts/habits you’re holding onto?

Why? What need is it fitting? Like fear, guilt, comfort, etc.

5. Forgiveness – forgive yourself for your old thoughts/habits, etc. You were only doing what you thought was best, you were trying your best. If you don’t forgive yourself you will hold onto past hurts, anger and not move forward. Quick way to live in the Now: forgive yourself so you can move on and forward. Forgiveness puts you in the power position, back in the driver’s seat.

Use compassion, empathy and love to forgive

6. Emotional detox – you can’t change if you’re surrounded by toxic, negative people and environments.

7. Positive Affirmations – this needs to be done each and every day. Morning and night. They are most powerful done in front of a mirror. Say them everyday until it becomes a habit. This starts changing your thought patterns.

EXAMPLE: If you think you’re no good, worthless, no-one cares, etc, then your affirmation should be: I love and accept myself.

8. Every time you have a negative thought or comments imagine a symbol that means STOP!  The hand up, stop sign, red light, etc. Something that symbolizes a change in behavior.

9. Change your words and how you talk to yourself. Remove negative words such as: Can’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t, maybe, etc. Replace with

I can.

I will.

Choose.

My choice.

I’m free to, etc.

10. Learn what you can and can’t control.

EXAMPLE: I can’t control what someone says or does but I can control how I respond to it. (A great way to do so is to take a step back before responding or reacting. Takes practice too.)

11. Visualize the change – What do your changes/goals look like? How will you feel? Act? How has your environment or people changed?  Use your senses to imagine your dreams/ goals/ changes.

12. Be patient and kind to yourself – it takes time to change at least 6-8 weeks.

No instant gratification.

Be realistic.

Baby steps.

Keep up motivation with positive reinforcement.

Change one habit at a time.

*Note: The Snap 2 Awareness test is not an actual quiz but more of a tool. Wear a rubber band for a day and snap it every time you say or think something negative. At the end of the day, count how many snaps you have by keeping a tally score on a little memo pad. The normal amount is 175-200 snaps a day. Doing so helps make you aware of your negativity.

For more information visit Diane’s website atwww.dlcounseling.com or e-mail Diane at Lifeline36@aol.com

Diane Lang, MA
Counseling Educator
www.dlcounseling.com

Counseling Educator
www.dlcounseling.com

I Lost my Job–Now What?

Hello, hello! Here’s to a wonderful Monday and upcoming week to all! My dear friend, life coach and counselor Diane Lang left this excellent post in my inbox. Now I pass it on to you. Please feel free to forward this article to everyone you feel might benefit from it.  Thanks, Diane, for passing these important coping strategies along!

       

Dear Diane:
I just lost my job a few months ago but I already feel the stress of being unemployed. I know my family is feeling stressed and concerned also. Any thoughts on dealing with being unemployed and keeping my sanity?

Thank you
Unemployed Joe

We know that the country’s jobless rate is over 9%; this is a very scary number. We have the highest jobless rate in over ten years and with many more living in fear of losing their job. Here are a few career and mental health tips to help you move forward if you lost your job or know layoffs are coming.

Career tips:

1. First things first – file for unemployment.If you have been laid off, you qualify for unemployment, make sure to take advantage of it. This money can help you make it through the tough transition of finding a job. It could take 6 months to a year to find a new job. The unemployment check can make you feel more secure and cover your necessities while you find another job. Unemployment can now be filed on -line from your home so there is no excuse to not file immediately. Also, know that it will probably take two to three weeks to get your first check so the quicker you file, the quicker you will receive your first check. 
Remember, to be eligible you had to lose your job due to no fault of your own. So, if you quit or got fired, you can’t receive unemployment benefits.

2. Options – you don’t need to have the same position or same salary to work. Remember, this is a transitional time. The next job you take doesn’t have to be permanent. Try other options such as temp agencies, part-time, consulting and freelance jobs. This can help you make extra money, keep your skills fresh and feel confident while looking for a job. A bonus to freelance work, temp, consulting, etc is that it allows you to build on your resume so you don’t have to worry about the “Gap”, on your resume.

 3. School – use this time to go back to school to finish your degree, learn a new skill, get a certificate or just to refresh your skills.  There are many affordable options. There is financial aid. There are community colleges and certificate programs at community colleges, adult programs and non-credit courses. Libraries offer classes  in computers at a very affordable rate.

 4. Volunteer – there are many organizations that need volunteers. You don’t get paid but it’s a great way to get training in a new skill, keep your resume updated and feel confident while helping others. It’s proven that the happiest people are altruistic so get to volunteering and boost your happiness level.

 5. Positive – Keep confident. Employers can sense low confidence. If your feeling embarrassed by your jobless situation and it affects your self -esteem, it will show on interviews. Positive attracts more positive and it’s the same for negativity – it attracts more negativity. Use this time in a positive manner – volunteer, spend more time with friends and family, find your true passion by temping and freelancing at different companies, go back to school and remember, this situation is only temporary- you will find a job!

 6. Network and be patient – finding a job takes time and even longer in this economy but you will find one; just keep at the search and network. We know that most people find their jobs thru networking. Tell everyone you know that you’re looking for a job, what type of job and your experience.

 7. Be prepared – make sure to have an updated resume on your computer to send out ASAP. Be prepared for the interview by doing your homework on your trade, the company you’re interviewing with and their history. Make sure to practice interviewing – mock interviews are a great way to warm up for an interview. 

Diane’s ‘Mental Health Tips’ tomorrow. Thanks, everyone, for stopping by! And thanks again, Diane, for sharing this with us! 

More on Diane here!